Wednesday, November 17, 2010

My JeaLousy

We are taught as children and throughout life that comparing ourselves to others is unnecessary. . . that success is measured differently for different people. . . but practicing this as a performer is virtually impossible. An entertainer's success is fairly obviously measured. .. through our pay scales, through venues (Broadway, or Madison Square Garden, or Nuemos on a local level). On a daily basis, our artistic lifestyle and competition mentality are awakened by the simple every day habit of logging into our facebook account. So And So has a callback for a Broadway show. So And So booked a National Tour. So And So just got signed by a major record label. While it is apparent that the artists attitude is that nothing is good enough. . .there is always room to grow. . .and this gig is temporary until the next great thing comes along, it is so easy to compare ourselves negatively to other artists and performers. (In the same way positively, too. . one of my favorite pastimes as of late is to search youtube for video auditions and watch in horror. . .)

What is the solution to this daily reminder of disappointment? Well. . . I could stop logging in to facebook (not an option. . totally addicted), I could delete all my friends that I deem successful (perhaps a bit much), I could start thinking positively about my life, realize that my success is MY SUCCESS, and open my mind to the idea that somewhere in the world there is a fellow performer sitting in front of their laptop considering deleting me as a friend for the same reasons. . . (I don't know. . the whole "positive thinking" routine is reminiscent of too many Oprah book club books)

While I start another day the same way I have for so long. . . Checking my inbox to see if the casting team for the show I did a video callback for has responded yet. . . Drinking my cup of coffee and doing an O'Ekaki puzzle. . . Praticing music and thinking this is the day something will change. . . I will (and do) try to practice my own form of positive thinking. . . it's only 6 hours until 5 o'clock. . .and then I can have some wine.


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