Missed connectionS

My high school choir director once explained why there are so few love songs. He said when you're in love, you're out being happy... Loving... In the sun. The tortured soul is not tortured and therefore has no inspiration to write.
That's how I feel about Seattle summers. Hence the reason I haven't written in a while.
I've tried to be good about soaking up the summer... Relishing in the fact that for a few short months, I don't have to take vitamin D supplements. And even though I knew the Seattle DEATH was coming, I tried not to think about it.
Well it's here, and now I have to think about it.
I still struggle with the Seattle mentality every day. Wearing sweats and flip-flops in public, taking ones time crossing the street, crazy stupid drunk people in Belltown... And while I'm starting to get used to it, I in no way understand it or feel at home here.
So I put my energy and effort into making good use of my time here. Teaching. Gigging. Singing. Making connections as much as I can... Although how does one make connections whilst being self-employed?
I keep getting frustrated at the fact that I don't get featured in the stranger... Or in Capitol hill blog.... But, I work out of my home, and hardly have time to leave!
So this is the dilemma of the winter... Always.... Get out.
Anyway... If you know anybody I should know, let me know :)

quiEt

Being unable to speak for any length of time is difficult for anyone.

Me being unable to speak for 5 days was nearly impossible.

Vocal rest is not anything too out of the ordinary for singers. Your voice gets tired, just like all the other muscles in your body, and being over-stressed and over-worked can push you over the edge. So when I went to my otolaryngologist and took a look at my cords (via a little camera inserted through the nose into the throat) (blegh) and saw I had an irritation on one of my vocal cords, I agreed that the doctor imposed vocal rest was vital.

When one is not speaking.... and one's penmanship is pretty crappy....and one's typing skills are less than steno-worthy.... communication becomes very frustrating. Tiring, even. "Your Mom" jokes are still funny written down, but not 2 minutes later.

I developed a loving relationship with my little notebook....

Carrying it with me everywhere.... the mall...IHOP..... and just leaving it by my bed..... Just knowing it was close by was a comfort.

But, as I said (and as you can see) my penmanship is atrocious. (My boyfriend who grew up in communist Russia points this out often. His penmanship is quite good, and I figure communism explains a lot of things about him....)

So after a while, you start to get creative.

Pantomime is key to the mute.

Suddenly all the beginner's acting classes I'd ever taken had proven themselves useful.

Pictionary, too, is a good tool.... however I didn't use that one as much as miming.

And I was disappointed to remember on the LAST day of my vocal rest, that my Mac can talk via the "text to speech" feature. (Although you still have to be a fairly good/quick typist)

So now it's back to the land of the speaking.... 3 hour gig tomorrow night (we'll see how that goes...) and work again during the day. (Did I mention I now have a part-time job, in the leasing office of my apartment building?)

One thing is certain...

Boyfriend and I will kick your ass at charades.

vaCation

I had to get out of the city

The lax

The apathy

The gloom

so i came to Texas

Every time I try to vacation, I realize i SUCK at it. . . I get bored. .. guilty. . .restless. . . but sometimes at home, all I want to do is be ON vacation

so i came to Texas

I needed a break from the "scene" (or lack thereof). . .I needed direction. . . I needed sun

so i came to Texas

and when I got off the plane, it was dark. .. and bleak. . . .and rainy. . .

so i ate

and had some wine

and the sun came out

i may not come back with any answers, but at least I don't have to deal with monkeys... cuz I have no cell-phone reception

I trust you all had a Merry Christmas

;^)

nightwaLker

One of the keys to surviving the dark, miserable Seattle winter, is that you have to remember to leave your apartment sometimes.

Even though you wake up at 8:30 AM, and you have to turn all the lights on to see. . .

Even though all your gigs get canceled because of flooding (making you wonder how you will pay your rent). . .

Even though the thought of venturing out in to the windy, dark abyss terrifies you back in to sleep. . .

Even though you'd much rather stay in and bake your 13th batch of snickerdoodles. . .

You HAVE to leave your apartment sometimes.

Because the cliche adage "After darkness, light" IS true (it turns out).

(Well. . until it ISN'T true anymore. . . and 8 light minutes after the sun burns out we are perpetually in darkness. . . and slowly evolve (or de-volve) to night-walkers with big teeth, bald heads, forever dilated pupils, and an appetite for human flesh. . .

But I mean, that's not supposed to happen til 2012, right?

Well THERE'S a valid reason not to pay for cable anymore. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . )

the waiTing gaMe

Artists are a masochistic bunch, really. We throw our souls out into the world only to get criticized, censored, rated, chewed up, and spit back out. There is only a small percentage of our work that is praised positively, and that's the only thing that keeps us going (Not to mention the horrible process that IS auditioning. . . seldom ever actually knowing when one will hear back either way). When we don't have anything positive for a long time. . . it becomes very difficult to keep going.

I can't quite say that I'm there yet, but I do believe I am on the cusp. . .

I haven't done too much theatre/live stage work since I ended my contract with Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines 2 years ago. . . and the theatre scene in Seattle is surprisingly nearly obsolete. . so I have to try elsewhere.

My sister's friend gave me an audition tip for Cirque Du Soleil's new Vegas show, Viva Elvis. The great thing about Cirque is that they accept (and encourage) video submissions. . which is perfect for broke li'l old me who can't afford dinner much less a plane ticket. I sent in my video and the first waiting game began. ***REFER TO BEGINNING PARAGRAPH IN WHICH I REMIND YOU THAT ARTISTS ARE MASOCHISTS******

I heard back from them via e-mail about 2 1/2 weeks later, asking for more material to audition (what we in the performing biz call a call-back) and I again sent in a my updated video.

(Did I mention that my boyfriend is a photographer? Well. . . he is, and luckily we have a small light kit and various background choices. . . kudos for me) (P.S. . . you can see his fantastic work here)

The waiting game continues. . . ***REFER TO BEGINNING PARAGRAPH AGAIN***

A week went by.

Two weeks.

Three weeks

And then, FINALLY, I saw the indescribably anticipated e-mail from Cirque Du Soleil in my inbox, telling me . . . Congratulations. . . you are now on the Casting database

Ok. . . .

So that's great. . for sure. .. but what does that mean?

Well. . . the waiting game STILL continues ***YOU GET THE POINT***. . . I guess it means that they know me now. . . I maybe have a higher "priority" for casting. . . and I am definitely not in the "reject" pile (Yet).

I say all of the above to say this, really. . .

We performers have a stressful, unstable, panicky life. . . but when we get that ONE thing (or get one step closer to that ONE thing). . . that THING that we've been thinking about. . . dreaming about. . .

It sure does make all the $hittiness worth it. . . don't you think?

Here is one of the videos that I auditioned with.

HolidaY fuNk

I know that we are repeatedly told that money can't buy happiness. . . but it sure would buy me a new pair of jeans, a haircut, and christmas presents. . and that would make me happy.

As I've gotten older, I've developed a love/hate relationship with the holidays. Long gone are the simple days of waiting for a strange man to enter my house, carrying everything I've asked for. (Except for the puppy surprise I begged for when i was 9, but that's another story. . .) Nevermore can I get away with giving "hug coupons" to my parents. The excitement and anticipation of the season has since been diluted to another stressful, worrisome time of year.

While I LOVE the decorations, the weather, the music, the parades associated with this time of year, I always let my monetary status get the better of me, and I hate to say it is the source of my annual holiday funk.

Why do I let this happen every year? Why can't I, like Cindy-Lou Who find and understand the TRUE meaning of Christmas? Why do I, a grown woman, get overly-emotional and teary-eyed at parades?

I don't know.

But I do know that Christmas isn't really about presents. . .

It's about spiked egg-nog.

And I'm a little lactose intolerant.

craigSlist

I don't know if it's strictly a Seattle thing, but every day I look through Craigslist, I see someone requesting free services. Whether someone wants a band to play for that private party but can't afford to pay them, a venue wants a band to "audition" for 3 hours, or someone is looking for free wedding pictures (I $hit you not), Craigslist is full of moochers that apparently are also suffering from the economic downturn. (ooh oooh. . I forgot to mention that most of these people promise to give great recommendations, reviews, or exposure to the said "server")

This is my latest contribution to Craigslist.

Can anyone help me out?

I am a full-time professional performer (that means I get PAID and MAKE A LIVING for the work that I do. . . ) but due to the recent craigslist phenomena of people asking for free services (and my fellow performers actually DOING it) I have fallen on some hard times. You see, there is not quite enough paid work to go around, and since there are several artists out there diminishing the integrity and pay scale of all local performers, I am finding it difficult to pay the bills.

So I've decided to ask you craigslist people, so obsessed with free stuff, to send some my way.

Here are a few things I really need, but cannot pay for. . .

a haircut

groceries

clothes

dog food

wall art

furniture

fame

Don't forget. . . anyone who is able donate their time to me will get great exposure, a stellar revue on yelp, and ridiculed in my blog.

Thank you.