Sunday, December 26, 2010


I had to get out of the city

The lax

The apathy

The gloom

so i came to Texas

Every time I try to vacation, I realize i SUCK at it. . . I get bored. .. guilty. . .restless. . . but sometimes at home, all I want to do is be ON vacation

so i came to Texas

I needed a break from the "scene" (or lack thereof). . .I needed direction. . . I needed sun

so i came to Texas

and when I got off the plane, it was dark. .. and bleak. . . .and rainy. . .

so i ate

and had some wine

and the sun came out

i may not come back with any answers, but at least I don't have to deal with monkeys... cuz I have no cell-phone reception

I trust you all had a Merry Christmas


Tuesday, December 14, 2010


One of the keys to surviving the dark, miserable Seattle winter, is that you have to remember to leave your apartment sometimes.

Even though you wake up at 8:30 AM, and you have to turn all the lights on to see. . .

Even though all your gigs get canceled because of flooding (making you wonder how you will pay your rent). . .

Even though the thought of venturing out in to the windy, dark abyss terrifies you back in to sleep. . .

Even though you'd much rather stay in and bake your 13th batch of snickerdoodles. . .

You HAVE to leave your apartment sometimes.

Because the cliche adage "After darkness, light" IS true (it turns out).

(Well. . until it ISN'T true anymore. . . and 8 light minutes after the sun burns out we are perpetually in darkness. . . and slowly evolve (or de-volve) to night-walkers with big teeth, bald heads, forever dilated pupils, and an appetite for human flesh. . .

But I mean, that's not supposed to happen til 2012, right?

Well THERE'S a valid reason not to pay for cable anymore. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . )

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

the waiTing gaMe

Artists are a masochistic bunch, really. We throw our souls out into the world only to get criticized, censored, rated, chewed up, and spit back out. There is only a small percentage of our work that is praised positively, and that's the only thing that keeps us going (Not to mention the horrible process that IS auditioning. . . seldom ever actually knowing when one will hear back either way). When we don't have anything positive for a long time. . . it becomes very difficult to keep going.

I can't quite say that I'm there yet, but I do believe I am on the cusp. . .

I haven't done too much theatre/live stage work since I ended my contract with Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines 2 years ago. . . and the theatre scene in Seattle is surprisingly nearly obsolete. . so I have to try elsewhere.

My sister's friend gave me an audition tip for Cirque Du Soleil's new Vegas show, Viva Elvis. The great thing about Cirque is that they accept (and encourage) video submissions. . which is perfect for broke li'l old me who can't afford dinner much less a plane ticket. I sent in my video and the first waiting game began. ***REFER TO BEGINNING PARAGRAPH IN WHICH I REMIND YOU THAT ARTISTS ARE MASOCHISTS******

I heard back from them via e-mail about 2 1/2 weeks later, asking for more material to audition (what we in the performing biz call a call-back) and I again sent in a my updated video.

(Did I mention that my boyfriend is a photographer? Well. . . he is, and luckily we have a small light kit and various background choices. . . kudos for me) (P.S. . . you can see his fantastic work here)

The waiting game continues. . . ***REFER TO BEGINNING PARAGRAPH AGAIN***

A week went by.

Two weeks.

Three weeks

And then, FINALLY, I saw the indescribably anticipated e-mail from Cirque Du Soleil in my inbox, telling me . . . Congratulations. . . you are now on the Casting database

Ok. . . .

So that's great. . for sure. .. but what does that mean?

Well. . . the waiting game STILL continues ***YOU GET THE POINT***. . . I guess it means that they know me now. . . I maybe have a higher "priority" for casting. . . and I am definitely not in the "reject" pile (Yet).

I say all of the above to say this, really. . .

We performers have a stressful, unstable, panicky life. . . but when we get that ONE thing (or get one step closer to that ONE thing). . . that THING that we've been thinking about. . . dreaming about. . .

It sure does make all the $hittiness worth it. . . don't you think?

Here is one of the videos that I auditioned with.